Women : Money and Lie

While it is true that women generally seek to marry rich men for a purpose well understood in evolutionary psychology, chinese women seem to have another goal. They simply love money. This is not to say that it represents a departure from the evolutionary logic, but there is something more than that.

I was told that many chinese women will not love you for who you are, but for what you have in your banking account. Some chinese women may even accept to sell her soul to hell just to have money. They will do everything for that purpose, and they don’t even care about virtue or morality. Money is their only way of action. Even a woman married to a poor man is not necessarily trusted since she can still cheat on him when an occasion arises. My mother told me shameful stories and reports from China that can’t be told.

These women are very special. They lie and they continue to lie. A life of lies. In the worst case, they could be so cruel : they will betray their husband, stealing them, entirely ruining them. My mother told me many stories about that (from friends, family, relatives). Of course, anecdote is not data. Anecdote proves nothing. But when my relatives tell me that they think that this is also what many chinese believe, I have the feeling that what I have been told could be generalizable. Especially when white people also see chinese as ultra-capitalists. This opinion is well stereotyped.

But stereotypes, in general, have certainly a base logic since stereotypes do not emerge without a chain of causality. Stereotype is not some kind of magic force. If many people, as I suspect, believe that chinese seem only care about profits, this is because they are, indeed, ultra-capitalists.

When chinese open their mouth, it smells money. My mother told me that the effect money exerts on chinese women is similar to the effect blood does on sharks. Her sister seems to agree with this point of view. With that being kept in mind, even though it is plausible that economic prosperity leads to a breakdown in morality, the negative effect of prosperity on morality could be far more pronounced among chinese. This is exactly what my mother thinks.

But now, given what I think about intermarriage and miscegenation, she told me that I must be very careful when choosing a wife. This kind of women is not as rare as I was used to believe, she said. Far from it. The problem my mother seems to consider is that, unless a woman betrays her husband, this is difficult to prove. And this is not even easy to guess. When you appear so polite and tolerant, he will be likely to let his guard down, becoming more vulnerable. Needless to say, I was a little surprised when I was told about this. There is indeed a time when I was ignorant about all this.

I was so naïve that I was used to believe everyone : I have been fooled many times. Chinese seem to be good at lying : this might help to explain, in part, why chinese are generally so anxious. My mother was used to say : “I know how they think. You don’t”. She also recommended me to avoid eating in chinese restaurant because she has some doubts. She also fears chinese confections/candies to the extent that they are filled with a lot of chemicals to make them tasty and delicious, but it’s just an illusion. They should be avoided, at least as much as possible, since it could be deadly for my health. Not surprising if I’m so skinny.

Now that I think about it, this helps to explain why they are so obsessed with social status. Even my father who is usually engaging in self-deceptive enhancement and is really in bad faith when it comes to chinese also admitted that chinese become crazy when they earn a lot of money. Chinese eccentricity is not a myth, this is real. They blindly spend large sums of money just to show they have a lot of money. Apparently, that is how they gain respect from others. It’s all about money. Again, stereotypes arise from a chain of causality. There is no magic force behind it. But whatever. I have, personally, absolutely no respect for women who feign to love. This conception of love does not suit me.

Love is not money.

This entry was posted in Divers.

8 comments on “Women : Money and Lie

  1. I’ve been reading an immense amount of stuff about China lately, so a couple of observations:

    First, you have to appreciate the depths and extent of poverty out of which these women are coming. Half of Man is a Woman will give you a good idea, as will Er Tai Gao’s recent memoir. These are both working of enduring world literature in my judgment, well worth reading in their own right. (The literary talent coming out of China is like nothing else in the world today.)

    There is also an element of the nouveau rich here, which may fade with time. Chinese marriages are remarkably stable by Western standards, so it can’t be quite as bad as your mother says.

    Finally, I’ve read too many accounts of heroic devotion of wives to their absent husbands during hard times to think that these relationships are primarily mercenary. Married love is a real force in many Chinese marriages. They are a romantic (as well as sex obsessed!) people, for which I applaud them.

    I should also mention that lying has never been looked down upon as a major sin in traditional Chines culture. Confucius told a few. Alas, corruption and nepotism have also been accepted cultural practice among the elites too, which has turned out to be a real ball-and-chain in today’s context.

  2. 猛虎 says:

    In western countries, marriage became unstable since the sexual revolution. The number of out-of-wedlock births increases sharply since the 1960s. The cost of divorce is reduced for women : they can initiate a divorce and claim half of the men’s wealth. The legalization of abortion diminishes the cost of sexual intercourse, which might explain the extramarital affairs. The interventions of welfare-state induce people to be irresponsible. Not surprising if the stability of marriages in western countries is becoming unstable compared to asian countries.

    Even if chinese marriages are stable, my point is that women are really obsessed with social status. They want a man of power. And I don’t like women who like this kind of men.

    Also, I never said that these marriages in China are “mercenary”. Instead, I said that these women are not uncommon. Regarding your last paragraph, my mother told me that this could explain why counterfeiting is so widespread in China. And why they don’t hesitate to make bad products for consumption. A good example : the chinese milk “scandal”. If they could make money, they are prepared to do anything to obtain that money. No matter how material wealth is obtained. Like I said, the effect money exerts on chinese in general is similar to the effect blood does on sharks. My mother thinks that chinese tend to be more honest if they remain poor. I don’t know for sure if that statement is true, but I would not be surprised.

    Regarding the milk scandal, I think personally that this scandal would have never arisen in western countries. The lack of honesty may be prevalent among some whites. But they are certainly not prepared to go so far.

    This is curious. Capitalism tend to make chinese more dishonest since opportunities for making more money increase.

  3. Speaking of status, this is a pretty classy site!

  4. 猛虎 says:

    There’s a lot of good stuff in her blog, indeed. I don’t even know how she finds the time to do all this writing.

    That being said, the fact that “the chinese are not trusting — read greif and tabellini — nor particularly trustworthy (they don’t trust each other!)” is quite interesting. According to the Pew Survey, China displays the highest level of social trust. Maybe they are lying, I don’t know.

    Then, in one of the paper (entitled “The Clan and the City: Sustaining Cooperation in China and Europe”) linked in one of her article, I can read that “In contemporary China limited morality is reflected in trust attitudes. In China you trust your family absolutely, your friends and acquaintances to the degree that mutual dependence has been established . . . With everybody else you make no assumptions about their good will. (Redding, 1993, p. 66).” I tend to agree with the latter view, but I can’t explain the contradictory findings.

    Also, I have to admit that I am somewhat confused. From an evolutionary point of view, this makes no sense, because african countries should have the lowest level of trust while asian countries should have the highest level of trust. Perhaps it’s because of chinese culture ? But, not so fast. Culture, too, has roots in evolutionary history. In “Genetics and Psychology: Beyond Heritability” Plomin & Colledge said :

    In contrast, most psychological research comes from a different perspective that focuses on species-typical or normative behavior rather than on individual differences within the species — means rather than variances. For example, children use two-word sentences on average at 18 months. How can you go beyond such mean descriptions of species-typical behavior to explanation? One way is to compare cultures or species but this does not take us very far. For example, if children in all cultures use two-word sentences at 18 months of age, this suggests (but does not prove) that the phenomenon might be evolutionarily engrained in the species. Conversely, average differences between cultures are not necessarily “cultural” — they might be due to genetic differences between cultures. Evolutionary psychologists tend to compare average differences between species, assuming that such species differences are due to genetic differences.

    So I’m really confused, but never mind.
    Where do I live exactly ? Picardie.

    • You should post your thoughts in her comments, which are way informal so their is not need to polish them up. She loves to be disagreed with and is a great gal all around. She’ll address your concerns or at least look into them.

  5. Picardie sounds good. France is like a miniature United States. Plus Paris!

  6. 猛虎 says:

    Ok, I will post a comment when I get a chance.

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